If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
