Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
