Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize