in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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