Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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