M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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