yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
