Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
