You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
the raccoons are back...
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