If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
