four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
