you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
