guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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