I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
