This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
