They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
