I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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