I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is Oprah even human
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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