I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I love you.
Bad choice
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
