champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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