...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
