To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
