just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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