come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You took a bar mat shot.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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