now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
