I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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