I am puke
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
