if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
