so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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