THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
