I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
