carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
