Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
