But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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