The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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