i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
