spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
