Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Watching her eat just hurts me
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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