idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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