my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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