Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
