This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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