Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
