I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
