I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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