Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
