Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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