then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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