the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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