So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
