I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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