I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
