is wine microwaveable?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize