He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
