Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
