we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
