i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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